2017 was the toughest year and to be honest I’m ready for it to be over. I guess you can say that putting one foot in front of the other and chasing happiness is what the year was all about.
It took me a long time to decide whether or not I should share a bit more here on my blog or instagram . . .
My personal life took a toll this year and partnerships are not always what it seems. I have learned that love comes in many forms and sometimes the execution of love and what is needed is different for each person. Love can bring pain, love can bring hurt, and sometimes when it goes on too long, it’s time to let go. I still feel lost at times and am working through what I think love is and what the future holds. But for now, it’s about reflection, growth, and taking steps forward to put myself back together.
I’m turning the pages to a new chapter and listening to myself and figuring out what I really need. But as each day goes by, I feel I’m at the right place and even though there will be still more changes to come, all things will fall into place like they should.
Life is a journey and my journey has been great. My boys are the loves of my life and why I’ve truly been ok. I would not have had them in my life without decisions made in the past. Being separated from them 50% of the time is the hardest part of it all. It is a sacrifice I struggle with daily and although (if you watch it all on instagram) it looks all so pretty and fun on the outside, my insides struggle with not being with them 100% of the time.
I struggle with the feeling of failure and hope one day they will understand it all. I’m still trying to understand it as well.
The one thing I do every chance I get is to tell them “I love you”. And I’ll always be there for whatever they need.
For now, I’m turning my back on 2017 and walking towards the future. My career may change, my living space will change, and my boys will keep on growing and change as well.
So many great things did happen in 2017 so I cherish those. I am thankful for the opportunities this blog and instagram have provided me and my family as those memories are wonderful.
I’m ready for 2018.
Happy Holidays and New Year.