Happy Valentine’s to you all out there! It’s one of my favorite holidays for several reasons, I’m a romantic at heart, I love heart shaped everything, and anything themed red and pink has me at hello.
If you read my New Year’s post (here), you know the past year was a tough one and in some ways still is going into 2018. This Valentine’s Day, I’m my own Valentine. Spending time alone has enabled me to think A LOT. Sometimes too much. I’m learning a lot about myself, what I need to work on, and most of all to appreciate all the good in my life. After my NY post, I get asked often, “how are you?”. It’s a wonderful question and thank you to those that have asked me and for all the love.
This question is hard to answer as I’m not sure? I’m good, I’m ok, I’m surviving and taking things step by step. This journey is a really difficult journey. Trying to be present and happy for the kids, do things still as a family from time to time, and share myself every day on social media and work (so many changes with this as well). Overall, I’m better than I thought I would be. Don’t get me wrong, I have depressed moments, bouts of sadness, and honestly, a lot of fear. Fear of being alone, not being able to be a great mom, not being able to support myself in the future, can I continue to share on here and social, just plain fear of the future is on my mind all the time. But spending time alone has changed my perceptions of things. I appreciate things more. What I’m going through isn’t more challenging than any one else. So I stay positive and also realize, I get to do some cool shit, every day is good, I love my family and friends, and this blog and instagram has created amazing opportunities for me. I am thankful beyond belief of things that have come my way. My bouts of sadness are normal and I don’t share them, if you watch me on instagram or stories, I’ll probably never share them. I take each challenge as it comes and try to tackle one thing at a time. Sometimes when I think of everything, I feel overwhelmed and shut down.
This post is about celebrating me time. Knowing that I don’t have to have a partner to dress up and celebrate Valentine’s day. I am figuring out myself at my age, as a mom, sister, daughter, friend and woman. For the first time in a long time, I’m doing it alone, but lucky to have the support of my two boys. Without heart ache I would never know what love is and I’m still figuring out what love means to me.
So How Am I? This quote says it all.
I’m looking up and forward. Facing my fears and taking it step by step. I’m devoting this year in taking care of myself, figuring stuff out, and being thankful. And I’ll always be doing all this looking fashionable and with a smile on my face.
Jumpsuit and skirt (separate pieces)
Manolo Blahnik Pink Pump
Dangle Earrings $9
For you mamas out there that ask me how I find the time to get ready. It is because I love it, there’s never pressure for other mamas to get dressed up and wear heels. Do things because YOU want to, not to impress others, not to compare, and not for others. If you are comfortable in sweats, own those sweats! If you don’t love makeup, it’s ok! Your beauty will shine with you being comfortable with what makes you feel good. Dressing up, style and fashion is what makes me feel good. I’m probably dressing up more often than not because of this whole transition. It makes ME feel good, and start the day off right.
Happy Valentine’s day to you. Celebrate you and the ones you love. Thank you for being part of my journey.
I’ll continue to share as I feel more comfortable and things settle down. For now, there’s still a lot to figure out. Having you along in my life is amazing.
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*All photography by Hannah Schweiss
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