More things have changed in the past year than my entire life. I went through a huge breakup, sold my home, moved into an apartment, started blogging full time, have my kids 50% of the time, adjusting to being a single mom those days and being alone. A lot of growth, stress, and self-evaluation has happened which brought forth this post.
10 Things I’ve Learned About Myself This Year
1) I like being alone sometimes. This was shocking to me and took some time for me to be comfortable by myself. But now I love alone time. For those of you that have had kids, you pretty much are NEVER alone. When we first started splitting kid time, I cried frequently and hated silence. It took adjusting, but I try to get as much done as possible and relax/see friends when I have my time. Don’t get me wrong, I miss the heck out of my kids, but I have no choice in splitting time so I’ve settled into it.
2) Take people EXACTLY as they are. HUGE learning for me, no matter how much this was said to me, I thought I was doing this, but I wasn’t. From friendships to relationships, like and love people exactly as they are and don’t expect things to change.
3. I am better alone than alone in a relationship. I’ve said this before but it took me a long time to figure this one out!
4. I’ve been told I’m very strong and I can manage anything, but I need support just like everyone else. Emotional support is extremely important to me and those that have stepped up to help me will forever be my friends.
5. How I speak to myself affects everything. In speaking with Niki, she made me realize that I was speaking negatively to myself and using words that I heard spoken to me as the truth, rather than seeing what the truth was. Changing how I spoke to myself has changed my business, my outlook, and energy.
6. Taking the last few months to evaluate and spend time alone has made me realize that I had searched for acceptance from my relationships. I wanted them to be proud of me, accept me, and see my positives. Well, the only relationship I should focus on is my own with myself. I should be proud, I should be comfortable with who I am and the person who I choose to be in a relationship will see all the good and not have to be convinced.
7. I am tougher on friendships than my relationships and I will no longer be that way. I’m finding a happy medium on both but my relationship (when I have another) will definitely be different than others I have had.
8. I am a happy person! It’s a long process but I was an unhappy person for years due to decisions I made about life and surroundings. I choose now to pursue life, friendships, and love in a different manner and if someone doesn’t really appreciate or see who I am, then they aren’t worth my energy.
9. I let things go more. This is a work in progress as I am so stubborn, but letting go has enabled me to be a happier person.
10. I think fairytales are a bunch of bullshit and we should teach our kids how to be kind, smart, motivated and good people to each other. As little girls, we are taught that our “happily ever after” occurs after you find the man to save you. Let’s teach our kids that it isn’t about finding the one, it’s about being the one. Knowing ourselves and then finding the right person to fit into your life. My goal is to teach my boys how to be a good person in this world, to be the kind of man I would want to meet, and to learn and make great decisions.
On a side note, watching/reading the “Me Too” movement has brought back my own memories of things I have buried for a long time. The women that have forged this communication are amazing, brave and changing the world forever. Maybe one day I’ll write more about this. I thank all the women that have come forth with their stories and forever changing the path my kids will live in.