20 Things Every Woman Should Do Before Marriage

This gorgeous gown is from Viero Bridal (has a local Chicago boutique)

Marriage is a huge step in life and I sometimes wish someone had given me some advice about taking care of myself before jumping into taking care of someone else or “us”.  Reflection has been part of my journey and sharing on here is therapeutic and I hope helpful to some of you. The past 2 years have been amazing professionally, but the toughest personally.  What helps me maintain positivity is the thoughtful notes I receive from you guys and on Instagram. The connection piece is such a great motivator and I love hearing from you.

These 20 things are meant to be fun, but some about self-care in the best way. Many of the steps are still doable if you are married and helpful in maintaining some sanity in a marriage or simply just finding yourself. So here it goes:

{1} Move into your own place or have roommates. Know what it is like to take care of yourself, bills, and some freedom. I didn’t do this until later in my twenties (I had a long term relationship after college) and do feel like this alone time was some of the best time to learn about myself.

{2} Travel to at least 1 bucket list place with girlfriends for a week.  If you follow me on instagram, you know I do this often, travel and spend time with my friends.  It is my favorite thing to do.

{3} Find something you are passionate about and pursue it. Career or hobby. I pursued fashion as a career and it is still a huge part of my life.

{4} Date and actually have fun with it. Don’t think about forever and if he is the “one”. Go dancing, go out with a few people, even better have relationships. Each one teaches you more about what you are looking for (I guess I’m still learning ;). The biggest thing I’ve seen are people who are afraid to date. You have to put yourself out there, get hurt, have fun, and truly do it all before settling too soon.

{5} Invest in 1 to 3 pieces in your closet that are your forever items that you earned. For me these were my Chanel bags and a few pieces of jewelry I purchased for myself.

{6} Figure out where you stand on having kids. And be with someone who aligns with the same goals.  Do not think you can change someone’s mind.

{7} Identify whether or not you might want to be a stay at home mom or a working mom and make sure who you marry is ok with this. This is a big one, as I think it is the most ideal to marry someone who is ok with either. Many women change their mind in the course of having kids, but having a supportive husband is the best thing ever. There are definitely men out there that have solid ideas of what they expect here, so make sure to talk about it.

{8} Have a tool kit and actually use it. Whether you use it to put something together or just to hang something. I’ve put together many Ikea items (my least favorite thing to do) but I gotta say I was quite proud of myself after finishing.

{9} Spend quality time with your parents and hopefully listen to some of their advice. After having kids, I cherish my parents even more. Gosh, they were so right on so many things.

{10} Eat a meal, or go to the movies by yourself. Being able to sit alone and eat at a semi nice place is uncomfortable at first, but it’s a must do to settle into yourself and be ok.

Gown is from Viero Bridal

{11} Kiss a crush (he could be the one you end up marrying). Hell, kiss many crushes. Life is short, kiss away until you find the one!

{12} Live in a different city than where you are from. It is always easy to move back. This is my biggest piece of advice for everyone. I have found strength in myself in moving. Having to make friends, find jobs, and be in new surroundings is hard but oh so fun.

{13} Ask someone out. Scary but bumble has made this easier for us gals, huh?

{14} Know how to cook eggs, make spaghetti, and some basics that look and taste great. Come on, you can toast, right? LOL.

{15} Have/build a great support system of friends and family that are always there for you.  Make sure to call someone once a week in this support system and make it a goal to do it.

{16} Be financially somewhat independent.  I know this is a tough one coming straight of college especially, I myself have felt stuck in relationships because I relied on my partner too much here. Marriages can feel like handcuffs and if you can’t support or have ways to support yourself then you feel stuck.

{17} You should learn how to confidently and calmly stick up for yourself. This is a hard one for many. Confrontation is not a bad word and speaking up for yourself is what you deserve. Learning to communicate and stick up for yourself, without being angry, is the best way.

{18} Face one of your fears.  So I have never been on a helicopter and I hate being alone. I went on a helicopter during a Mexico trip and the past 1.5 years has been me navigating life alone (of course with my 2 kids too). Granted, I had a panic attack on the helicopter but after calming down, it was awesome to face my fear.

{19} Go to a wedding without a date, wear the most fabulous dress you can find, and dance like crazy.

{20} Get to know yourself, what you want, what your dreams are and whomever you marry or are in a long term relationship with, think, what are the top 3 things you dislike about him/her? Can you live with those faults them FOREVER? Do the happy moments outweigh the negative ones? And do you like him just the way he is and vice versa.

If you missed my post on marriage and if I’ll get married again, read my post here.

Let me know about these 20 things, am I missing anything? Do you like what I wrote?